Healing isn’t a straight line—it’s a spiral. Here’s what to do when therapy feels like you’re getting worse, not better. A soulful take on growth, grief, and the ugly beauty of becoming whole.
Healing Isn’t a Hero’s March. It’s a Messy Spiral
Everyone sells healing like it’s a Bollywood climax.
Cue the music, shed a few tears, forgive your parents, take a yoga retreat, and boom—you’re enlightened.
Except… it doesn’t work like that.
Real healing?
It’s ugly. It’s weird. It’s laughing one morning and crying into your dal at lunch because your inner child just remembered that one time your school teacher called you “lazy.”
And therapy?
Oh, therapy sometimes feels like paying someone to press your unhealed buttons—with clinical precision and a warm smile.
“But I Thought I Was Done With This…”
I’ll be honest—I started therapy like I start gym routines.
With enthusiasm, new notebooks, and the belief that I’d “sort myself out in 10 sessions.”
Spoiler: I did not.
Week 4, my therapist gently asked, “Have you ever felt abandoned in your childhood?”
I smiled. Then blinked. Then sat in complete silence as my brain opened a memory vault I didn’t know existed.
Cut to: me walking out of the session feeling worse than when I walked in.
“Is this even working?” I muttered.
That week, I avoided people.
Cried randomly.
Listened to Lata Mangeshkar like she was narrating my inner wounds.
But somewhere in that emotional mess, I noticed something…
I wasn’t coping the old way. I wasn’t numbing out, distracting, or binge-watching spiritual reels on Instagram.
I was feeling. And that—though it sucked—was progress.
You’re Not Going Backwards. You’re Going Deeper
Healing isn’t linear. It’s a spiral staircase—you keep hitting the same emotional floors, but each time, you’re a little higher, a little wiser, a little less dramatic (hopefully).
Here’s why therapy sometimes feels like a breakdown:
🔍 1. Awareness Wakes the Pain
You used to ignore the wound. Now you’re poking it gently with intention. Yes, it stings. That’s healing.
🧠 2. Old Stories Get New Light
Memories you’ve buried under ‘I’m fine’ come alive. You revisit, reframe, and release—but not all in one session.
🔄 3. The Ego Hates Losing Control
That part of you that built an identity around “holding it all together” now sees it crumble. Good. Let it.
Just like lifting heavy weights leaves your muscles sore before they grow—emotional weightlifting does the same to the soul.
When You Feel Worse, You Might Be Doing It Right
If you’re in therapy (or doing any deep inner work), and feel like you’re going in circles, here’s your reminder:
💡 You are spiraling upward.
It just doesn’t look sexy on a mood tracker app.
Here’s how to ground yourself when it gets heavy:
🧘♂️ 1. Track Integration, Not Just Emotion
Feeling worse doesn’t mean you’re back at square one. Notice how you respond differently, not just how you feel.
🪵 2. Return to Rituals
Walks. Chai. Grounding food. Breathwork. Journal. These aren’t escapes—they’re containers to hold you.
🧩 3. Pause the Self-Fix Mode
You’re not a project. You’re a person. Take breaks. Cry ugly. Then get back up.
💬 4. Talk About It
Shame grows in silence. Share with someone. Or write to your future self.
Healing Is a Long Game (Not a Weekend Retreat)
If you’re reading this on a day you feel like you’re backsliding—
Breathe. You’re not failing. You’re just feeling.
Every spiral down is a setup for a stronger rise.
And next time you’re mid-therapy session wondering why you signed up to emotionally undress in front of a stranger—remember: you’re brave as hell.
Next post?
“The Difference Between Healing and Coping (And Why Both Matter)”
Because sometimes we call it ‘healing,’ but it’s really just us switching coping styles in better outfits.
Spiraling But Still Showing Up? You’re Already Winning :
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