Struggling to sit still and meditate? You’re not alone. Here’s a soulful, witty deep-dive into how to meditate when your mind feels like a squirrel on Red Bull.
The Monkey Mind in a Coffee Shop
There’s a very specific kind of torture:
Sitting down, closing your eyes, and being alone… with your own mind.
No phone.
No Spotify.
No dopamine.
Just you.
And the riot of thoughts playing Garba in your skull.
“Just observe the thoughts,” they said.
“Let them pass like clouds,” they said.
But they didn’t say what to do when the clouds turned into thunderstorms and your brain suddenly decided to file taxes, replay childhood insults, and plan dinner—all at once.
Welcome to the world of meditation for the mentally restless.
(Aka, people like us.)
The Day I Tried to Meditate… and Ended Up Making a Grocery List
It was a Sunday. I had just finished reading some Osho, watching a few Sadhguru reels, and feeling like my chakras needed a little dusting. I rolled out my yoga mat, crossed my legs, and set a timer for 20 minutes.
Big mistake.
Minute 1: “Breathe in… breathe out.”
Minute 3: “Did I leave the geyser on?”
Minute 5: “What if I never get married?”
Minute 6: “Wait… are mosquitoes supposed to be this philosophical?”
Minute 9: I was mentally rearranging my fridge and wondering why paneer never tastes the same two days later.
At minute 12, I cracked one eye open and sighed.
This wasn’t meditation. This was a Zoom call inside my head—with no mute button.
And yet… I kept coming back. Every day. Not because I was nailing it, but because something weird happened around Day 8.
The voices? They didn’t stop. But they started getting… predictable.
Like noisy neighbours—you begin to tune them out.
Eventually, the gaps between the thoughts started to appear.
Tiny silences.
Little pauses.
And in those gaps… I caught a glimpse of me.
Not the doer, not the thinker.
Just… the watcher.
What They Don’t Tell You About Meditation
Here’s the bitter-tasting truth they don’t serve with your chai:
Meditation doesn’t “work” the way a light switch does. You don’t just sit, and suddenly you’re in Zen mode.
You sit. You squirm. You suffer.
Then… you stay.
And that’s the practice.
It’s Not About Stopping Thoughts
Thoughts are like traffic on a Mumbai road. You can’t stop it. But you can learn to sit on the footpath and just… watch.
No need to direct, judge, or engage.
(Unless your thoughts involve Manjulika from Bhool Bhulaiyaa—then maybe engage a little.)
Restlessness is Part of the Process
If you’re fidgety, distracted, or bored during meditation—congrats. You’re doing it right.
Real meditation isn’t about becoming a stone statue. It’s about being aware while the chaos continues.
Meditation for the Restless = Real Mind Gym
Look, in modern life, our brains are doing CrossFit 24/7.
We’re bombarded with dopamine hits: reels, deadlines, expectations, insecurities, Google Maps shouting “recalculating.”
In this madness, your brain becomes like a toddler on sugar.
Meditation isn’t a spa.
It’s a mental gym.
You don’t sit to relax. You sit to build awareness.
You sit to practice not reacting.
So that next time someone cuts you off in traffic or your ex likes your Instagram story—you respond, not combust.
Just like working out, you don’t see results in one session.
But do it for 30 days?
You’ll feel the difference between your real self… and your noisy self.
From One Overthinker to Another…
I’m not going to pretend that I sit for 2 hours daily and levitate with Shiva’s grin.
Most days, I still feel like a distracted squirrel in a temple.
But here’s what I know now:
Even one breath—fully observed—is meditation.
Even one moment of awareness in a storm of thoughts is a win.
So drop the guilt.
Drop the perfection.
And just… sit.
For 5 minutes.
For 2 minutes.
For you.
And if your brain throws a fit? Smile and say,
“Aha, there you are again, drama queen.”
How to Start: 5 Meditation Hacks for the Mentally Restless
1. Use a Timer.
Commit to just 5 minutes. Set an actual alarm. No cheating.
2. Sit How You Want.
Sofa, chair, floor, doesn’t matter. The Himalayas won’t judge you.
3. Anchor to the Body.
Notice the breath. The chest rising. The tingling in your feet. Ground yourself in sensation.
4. Label Your Thoughts.
Thinking. Planning. Judging. Fantasizing. Naming helps you disidentify.
5. Celebrate Tiny Wins.
Did you stay seated for 5 minutes without checking WhatsApp?
Gold medal, my friend.
📥 Before You Go…
Meditation isn’t for the perfect—it’s for the curious.
And if you made it this far, trust me… your soul is already doing namaste inside you.
Let’s keep this inner work spicy, soulful, and sarcastic.
If this post made you chuckle, cringe, or quietly nod—
Subscribe to the newsletter at YogiWrites.co.in for more brutally honest tales about becoming a slightly better human.
Or read my other messes-turned-mantras:
Leave a Reply