YogiWrites

Marketing is Not a Fairy Tale—It’s a Wrestler in a Lungi

Let’s stop romanticizing it.

We picture “branding” like a gentle whisper from the gods—fonts aligning, followers doubling, and some Gary Vee reel going “Just post, bro.”

But in the real world? Marketing feels more like fighting a bull in a vegetable market. No rules. No guarantees. Just chaos, noise, and a lot of sweat.

And no, Canva templates won’t save you.

Once Upon a Failed Funnel

Let me tell you a little story.

It was a humid Wednesday in Pune, 2018. I was helping a friend launch a fitness coaching program. We had everything lined up—social ads, landing page, payment gateway, and even those fancy “limited-time” countdown timers.

We launched.

And waited.

Crickets.

I checked Facebook ads again. ₹7,000 gone. Five clicks. Two were from my cousin trying to “test” the form.

My friend sat next to me, face half-lit by the laptop screen.

“Bhai… didn’t you say this would go viral?”

And there it was—my ego doing push-ups while reality slapped me across the face like a dosa flipping back into the tawa.

What went wrong?

We had the strategy. We had the branding. Heck, we even had an email list (which included one guy named ‘testuser123@gmail.com’).

What we didn’t have was Truth #1: Nobody Cares Until You Make Them Feel Something.

The 3 Ugly Truths Marketing Gurus Won’t Tell You

🧨 1. Feelings > Features

People don’t buy products. They buy emotions, insecurities, identities, and that one imaginary version of themselves who wakes up at 5 AM and journals while sipping matcha.

Your brand has to feel like a friend, not a brochure.

I’ve worked on brands where we sold less features and more emotions, and guess what? The conversions doubled. One of our best-performing headlines?

“Join the tribe of misfits who lift, meditate, and don’t take BS from life.”

Not exactly Harvard marketing, but it resonated.

If you can make someone feel seen, they’ll remember you.
If you only make them think, they’ll scroll past you.

💸 2. Money Doesn’t Guarantee Virality. Mood Does.

You can throw ₹5 lakhs into Meta ads, and still tank if your message doesn’t match the mood of the audience.

One time, we ran a campaign during Navratri for a wellness brand.
We planned content like “10 Ayurveda Detox Tips” but it flopped.

Why? Everyone was busy dancing in ghagras and drinking Fanta with namkeen.

We changed the creative to:
“9-Day Fasting? Here’s How Not to Kill Someone.”
It went bonkers.

Mood marketing matters. Align with what people are already feeling—not what your client’s Excel sheet says they should be.

🔍 3. Your ‘Brand Story’ is Boring If You Think It’s Perfect

“Hi, we are XYZ Brand. Founded in 2022 with a vision to revolutionize wellness and…”

YAWN.

Tell me instead how you almost gave up during COVID. Tell me about that warehouse flood, the refund drama, or the time you personally delivered products to someone who DM’d you at 11 PM.

Stories don’t need polish. They need pulse.

Raw > Perfect.
Relatable > Glossy.
Human > Hype.

Why This Matters More Than Ever in 2025

With AI pumping out content like a chaiwala at a tech fest, authenticity is the new luxury.

People want to see behind the scenes. They want cracks in the wall. They trust you more when you say:

“We tried, failed, and here’s what we learned.”

That’s the energy that builds real tribes—not rented traffic from a 2-week boost campaign.

💡 So, What Should You Actually Do?

✍️ Start with Emotional Positioning

What’s the emotional state of your customer when they find you?
Anxious? Frustrated? Hopeful? Tap into that.

🧠 Think “Mood Before Marketing”

Plan content based on what the audience is already thinking, not what you want to sell.

🎙 Share Your Scar Stories

Every brand has a scar. Make it your story. That’s how cults are born.

From the Trenches of Branding to the Temples of Truth

You know what I’ve learned after 20+ years of branding, meditating, lifting weights, and figuring out this mad world?

Marketing isn’t about shouting louder.

It’s about whispering at the right time, with the right words, into the right hearts.

You don’t need 100K followers.
You need 100 people who would walk barefoot to buy from you again.

And for that, you’ve got to get real, get raw, and get out of your own way.

🛎 Before You Go, Just One Thing…

If this post made you smile, nod, or curse a past campaign you ran—share it with that one friend who’s building a brand right now.

Trust me, they need this hug.

Or better yet—

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No fluff. Just soulful strategies, marketing therapy, and the occasional rant on why your landing page looks like a haunted house.

Want to dive deeper into emotional branding and personal storytelling?
Check out:
👉 From Om to ROI: Applying Yoga Principles to Business Growth
👉 Digital Marketing: The Power of Storytelling in Branding